member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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