I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
