i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
