You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
