What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
My vagina just clenched in fear
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
