Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
