Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
