i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
