Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
