I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
