i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I puked a lego.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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