Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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