Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
