I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Randomize
