guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Semen is not good for contacts.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
