You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Randomize
