I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize