And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
