Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
