i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize