apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
only if we run a train.
done.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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