I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
