u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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