i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
