I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Randomize
