This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize