Don't you send me to vm
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
