I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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