he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
