i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
