If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize