It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
