I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
