I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
