drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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