come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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