i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
