I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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