i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
