Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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