At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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