The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
