So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
