I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
So much rum. So many feels.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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