I'm lost and stupid without you.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
