covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
