There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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