is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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