thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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