yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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