6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
