Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
