Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
