I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
